I Am Everything Short of Special

I hear words, I analyze them, and I make them fit my mental frame.
I cannot let words that will hurt me make their way around my heart.
Because they will shoot through my veins and cripple me.
But as I am hearing the real meaning of them, I can't help but wonder.
What was really said?
What was really meant?

I can't handle the disappointment and the stress.
I tried so hard.
I looked my best, acted my best, laughed at all his jokes.
I tried to play the game, wait to text, wait to even acknowledge.
That isn't me.
I can't play games.
I don't do subtle.

Time sucks.
Everything about waiting, sucks.

Get a grip on life, Melissa.
Before it gets a grip on you.